i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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