12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
