Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
