I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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