I wanna bring you to show and tell
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize