David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
