dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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