I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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