So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
