but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
