He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
