god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
