you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am one with the molecules
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
