2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
