Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
