How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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