Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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