I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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