We named our party play list daddy issues
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
