why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
