then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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