margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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