yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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