Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
