It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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