okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
