I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
