what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize