do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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