I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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