The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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