Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
