Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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