yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
