How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
