I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
