My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
