he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
