While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
