dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
