you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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