nut hugger
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
