He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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