I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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