Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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