omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
