Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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