i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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