Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
