great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
