Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm always down for nudity.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
