Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
