Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
