"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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