I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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