it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
