were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize