Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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