This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize