I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
