textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
