Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I want is dick and wine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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