i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
