you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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