My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
