Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
