That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
