I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Congratulations! We have a period
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