Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
