We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
